Standstill
by MissA79
Summary: <html><head></head>Post Klaus. What happens now?</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_My head is pounding. _

_My whole body aches._

_I just hurt._

_I hear someone come into the room, close the door and pull up a chair. They take my hand and hold onto it with both of theirs. His scent is so framiliar. I know those hands, the hands that look so rough but are soft to the touch. Who would have thought a killers hands would feel so nice, so comfortingly strong. Sadly no one because I'm the only one who gets to see the man behind the reformed murderer. He is the antithesis of the monster he pretends to be. The better man, my best friend._

_'Salvatore as in Saviour.' He once told me. Who knew then that he would be?_

_My own personal saviour._

"Elena, please wake up. I'm not one to beg but this is getting old. You have been asleep for two weeks. I'm saying asleep because I don't want to believe that you are in a coma, and I sure as hell don't believe that you are never going to wake up and I'm the fatalist here. You are so stubborn so in order to prove everyone wrong you need to do it, open those big beautiful brown eyes. I'm sorry we put too much trust in Katherine. I'm sorry we didnt have a back up plan. It seemed good enough at the time. _This_ is Stefan's fault. Even if you don't want to believe it. He trusted her and he convinced all of us that nothing could go wrong. Him and the bitch are still here even though I asked, well more like told them to get the hell out of here. _They_ are way too chummy for my taste and you wouldn't like it either. So what _I_ need for you to do is wake up and kick Stefan's ass, I wouldn't let you try with Katherine, she would attempt to do damage, or in this case you could stake them. After all you do owe me now. I think my debt for you saving me in Georgia and from Bonnie is paid in full. I figured since you pretty much took down an original you could handle Kat and her animal eating sidekick. Look everything is over. Klaus is dead. You tricked Katherine with the dagger, you had us all thinking you were so innocent, but I always knew you weren't. You got one hell of a backbone, suprised the hell out of everyone but I knew you had guts. You are safe. You got what you wanted everyone you love is safe. Even I made it out alive. So get up, annoy me and be happy about it."

_He didn't know. Katherine never said a word. She told Stefan she was willing to die for him so she would use the dagger to kill Klaus, to prove that she did love him. I was afraid she would skrew it up and someone I loved would die. So I took the dagger. No, not took it, she gave it to me. She knew what I was going to do. Boy was he going to be mad when I told him Katherine was going to sit back and enjoy the show. _

_I barely ever hear him sound so vunerable and this is by far the most he has ever sound it, even around me but his little speach is still inheretly Damon. His voice is sad but there's a little bit of anger there too. Somtimes I forget that when he loves he loves hard. There was no denying that anymore. He proved that and beyond. He wasn't going to admit it now and that was okay with me because I was not ready to touch that subject. It doesn't even suprise me anymore that he knows me so well. If anyone would have tried to stop me or was going to catch onto my plan I was sure it would be Damon, but he was so focused on saving and protecting me that he almost died. I knew what he was talking about. I did what I intended on all along. I was making sure everyone survived no matter what happened to me. Klaus decided Damon would be the one to die in the sacrifice. Klaus somehow knew that even though I was with the youngest Salvatore I had a very soft spot for the eldest. I could not let that happen. There was no way he was going to die for me. I pulled out the dagger that I had gotten from Katherine. All we needed was a distraction, we needed the advantage to get the upper hand. I caught Klaus off-gaurd, he was having too much fun torchering Damon and I stabbed him right through the heart but he didn't die quick enough because I didn't get the dagger in far enough but it was enough to make a difference. The last thing I saw was Damon hands over Jeremy's helping hold Klaus down and push the dagger all the way into him and then Damon running to me. But it was too late Klaus had me flying through the air, off the cliff and into the falls but all that mattered to me was that everyone was alive. It felt like I was going in slow motion watching everything. Damon saved my life. Then agian, he always saved me. Why should I have thought it would have been any different?_

_Stefan and Katherine? Chummy? Why? I had my suspicions or fears, whatever you want to call them, that he still had feelings for Katherine but he always denied them. Where was he? Where was Stefan when Damon was taking control? Not that Damon needed help but I don't remember Stefan doing anything or seeing him before I went over. I try to force my eyes open but they just wont. What the hell happened to me? Why cant I open my eyes? **Coma.** Damon said I've been here two weeks. Wherever here is...I'm guessing the hospital but today is the first day I'm awake...at least in my head. He squeezes my hand tighter and lifts it up to his cheek and holds it there. I try to squeeze his hand back and I try to move my body but it won't budge. I'm trapped in my own body. The door opens again and whoever comes in is wearing heels. All I can think is it better not be Katherine._

"Hey Damon, your still here?"

"I didn't want to leave her alone."

"You look like you haven't slept since she's been here."

"I have."

"Damon go home. Shower, sleep, change. I'll stay with her."

"Why are you being nice to me?"

"Because it's obvious. No matter how much I want to hate it, you feel for her and you were very willing to die for her Damon, even if we saved her and not you, you didn't care. I was there, I saw it. You didn't even put up a fight. So I owe you."

"You don't owe me. I did it because I couldn't lose her. He would have killed her before we had a chance to save her if I did."

"I know but it's over now."

"I should have just used the dagger myself. None of this would have happened."

"Then you would be dead and Elena would be devestated that you died for her. And even though I don't think vampires should exist, maybe you should. Maybe. Because when I look around it's you that's always there for her. I thought I would be saying this about Stefan but...it doesn't matter. You saved her. You even helped me. You were the hero this time and because of it Elena has a chance. Go home, Damon. I won't leave her, I promise."

"I'm trusting you witch."

"I'm trusting you to come back. Jeremy is comming by after school and Jenna afterwork."

"Oh, I will come back. How are they?"

"A mess. Jeremy has no doubt that she's going to wake up, Jenna does however."

"She will, Bonnie. Her and her damn determination, it use to piss me off, just like she did but now it'll work in my favor when she uses it to wake up."

"I think she would beg to differ and say you are the one that tries and succedes at pissing her off."

"Don't I know it. It's what we do, piss each other off and fight." I try to manage a smile and if I'm not mistaken the witch actually laughs at what I've said. Guess there is a first time for everything. Elena still looks as beautiful as ever. Almost like an angel. I tuck her hair behind her ear and run my fingers down her face before I grab my jacket to leave.

"Wait! Where's Stefan anyway?"

"With...her."

"I don't get it. Why?"

"I have no idea."

_Stefan was with Katherine. That much I now knew for sure and a part of my heart broke at the thought of it. Bonnie being nice to Damon? Is this some sort of an alternate universe? Am I dreaming, talking and making promises with no brain bleeds? What did they know that I didn't? Trusting each other? I knew that they had made progress the night of the dance but I wasn't aware they were friends. This is all so confusing. Bonnie must sit where Damon was because I feel her lean onto the bed and take my hand._

"Elena, come on. I know you like being stubborn but Damon is turning into mush. I never thought I'd see the day. I get why you save him, why you are his friend and why you risked your life when Klaus was ready to kill him. He's so different with you. It's like because of who you are he's different, who he should be. I wonder if you could hear me? If you can I bet your loving this. I bet even getting satisfaction out of the fact that I see the Damon you do now. I'm trying to figure out when he became the hero but you always knew he could be one, didn't you?. We all know why he is though, it's because of you, Elena. But if he goes off on a killing bender, which I'm waiting for. He's pretty beat up for not being able to prevent you from getting hurt at all. I will be forced to, no not kill him, I know that's what your thinking, but I will have to neutralize him. I won't kill him for your sake because I belive you could fix it. Jenna and Jeremy are out of their mind worried about you. Jeremy wants Damon to give you some of his blood but he says it won't work unless your concience, so wake up, Elena, please? Your family needs you. I need you and so does Caroline. _Damon_ needs you."

_Fianlly someone else the sees the Damon I do. He's not a monster. Just misunderstood. Hmm. Is that even the right word? He doesn't want people to see the real him and for the longest time I couldn't figure out why but then I finally got it. It's because even when he is the better man he doesn't think it gets him anywhere. He's wrong. He's just scared to let anyone get to close. That's why he tries to hurt me and push me away. But I know it's all fake and pretend. If it wasn't he wouldn't want my forgiveness. Damon's dark and scary sometimes, but that's just one side. That's who he shows everyone but with me it was different. He trusted me. He trusts and loves with everything he's got and he's scared of what that means. He suprised me but he was doing that alot lately. There was still something that I was missing. Where was Stefan? Why has he not been here and what happened with Katherine? Stefan and I were fine. He loved me. I loved him. Why did it feel like right now that wasn't even enough? Poor Jenna and Jer. After everything that has happened to my family I had to be okay for them. Jenna is most likely going out of her mind wondering what happened. I wonder what they told her. The truth? Knowing Damon he would have just wanted to compel her and Stefan would have refused. Knowing Stefan he would have wanted to think of something, some kind of accident, Damon would have just wanted to tell her the truth now that the danger was over. At this point I had no idea who's argument won out._

**_Boarding House_**

"Stefan!" I call out as I slam the door as hard as I can.

"In here." He calls from the living room. I walk in and see him with a bottle of alcohol in his hand just staring at the wall.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Being a first rate dick."

"What do you want, Damon?"

"I want you to quit feeling sorry for yourself. Get the hell over to the hospital. Jenna, Jeremy and the witch are asking where the hell you have been."

"What did you tell them?"

"The truth."

"Of course. Always the righteous now right, Damon? Do you really think you are the saviour here?"

"Give me a break, Stefan. All I've done is save your ass. Hell I helped save everyones ass. All you did was plot and plan and sit back and watch. You could have gotten to her faster than I could have, you could have helped Jeremy shove that damn dagger all the way in to make sure he was dead but you ran to make sure Katherine was okay. What happened to save Elena, I'd die for Elena, Elena's everything. I love her. Well Stef which her do you love? Because Elena is in the hospital, in a coma and you haven't been to see her once."

"When would I, Damon? You barely leave her side. Everyone else is around the other time."

"Someone has to be there when she wakes up."

"If she wakes up."

"She will wake up, and I will tell her the truth. I won't lie to her. Not even for you, brother."

"Because you love her too?" He scoffs at me. How he finds this funny I have no idea.

"Because I could have died too, and you didn't even care. The first person you ran to was Katherine. All these years you mocked my obsession and here you are with one of your own for her. At least I was honest about it. I'm here for Elena for as long as she needs me or wants me. I was the one that was willing to die for her. Maybe I do love her but that her is Elena because of who she is, not because of Katherine. That bitch started all of this. I'll never forgive her and the worst part is I actually expected more from you, twice is enough. I won't make that mistake again. Just know that if Elena dies, it's on you. I will kill you myself. No more eternity of misery I'll be cut and dry and stake you both through the heart."

"I never wanted her to get hurt Damon, you either."

"I made the life and death decisions. Remember when I told you at the end of the day I'd be the one to keep her alive? Suprise. I did. I say what I mean and mean what I say Stefan." I turn and leave a stunned Stefan standing there. I had things to do. I had to shower and eat and then meet with Liz. She most likely wanted to make sure that there have been no more unknown vampire corpses showing up. Then I had to get back to Elena. I meant every word I said to Stefan. I don't want him to see her. I don't want him near her but it's not my call. Elena might. Maybe he's who she needs to wake up. I feel the disgust in me as I say those words. Where the hell was he when she needed him then, when I needed him? I won't lose her. I know she's going to wake up. She _has_ to.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Two days later_**

"Damon, I want her home. She belongs at home."

"I know Jenna but I can be with her all the time at my place. You work and Jeremy has school. You are both welcome at the boarding house anytime, you know that."

"Yes, you can be with her but so can Katherine and Stefan. I don't want her around that crazy bitch and I'm not too fond of Stefan at the moment." I don't even know why I bother to argue. This is Damon after all. He can talk his way in and out of anything.

_I hear Jenna tell Damon as her voice seethes. I now know who won the argument. Damon. And Jenna knows the truth._

"Again Jenna, I know but it would be easier to have her at my place. Stefan and Katherine are both invited in your house need I remind you. You don't have an endless supply of bl.."

"Stop. Uggg, Damon fine but I'm only agreeing because I will not put her in a home."

"That's not an option. She's going to wake up and the last thing you want is for her to think she was abandoned. I can't lose her." The way his says those last four words stop what I'm about to say. The words break my heart even further.

"I know. Why do I get the feeling that if you did you lose her things would be bad?"

"I would be bad." His eyebrows furrow and I can tell he believes what he's saying, he really thinks he would be bad.

"Damon..."

"No Jenna. It's true. All the good in me everyone keeps talking about it's all because of her." He says like his very fiber of his being is attached to her. Attached to her survival. I decide not to press any further. He's on edge and Ric says that a Damon on edge is _not_ a good Damon.

"The doctors say she needs more time to heal. That this is her body's way of doing it. What if they are wrong?"

"Doctors are wrong about alot of things but not this. She's been through alot. She likes to suprise people when they least expect it. Hate to burst her bubble but I already know she'll be fine. I'm sure as soon as she wakes up and gets oriented she'll be yelling at me for trying to sacrifice myself. She'll want to make sure everyone is fine and see them too. She will want to apologize to you and explain everything and tell you why she did what she did. So she should be as close as possible."

"You know her so well." I say with a little bit of amazement in my voice. Too well for being his brothers girlfriend. I always knew they were friends but I didn't realize how close they were.

"I'll have the room set up next to mine and I'll get her the best care. You don't have to worry about the cost." Of course he deflects, even I know that's what Damon does best.

"Why are you doing all of this Damon?" Jenna asks as she wipes the tears away from her eyes. Everytime I see her she cries. Normally crying has me running away from it, women are emotional wrecks when they cry that much and what guy wants the brunt of it? But not with her. If anyone deserves tears it's Elena, she's _that_ good and _that_ pure. Compared to me she could be a saint.

"Because she fought for me when no one else did. She was always on my side or sticking up for me. Now it's my turn."

"I was so wrong about you, Damon. I'm actually glad. Thank you. For saving her. For being here. For taking care of her. For..."

"Enough. This is getting way to emotional for me. I get it your thankful. You can buy me a drink at the grill later." I tell her handing her a tissue and she gives me a light laugh.

"Deal."

"I'll be back to see her later. I have to go meet Barbie, then she's going to come stay with Elena tonight and I'll see you at the grill, say seven?."

"Ric and I will be there. Bye Damon."

_I'm going to live with Damon? Seriously? Where the hell is Stefan? None of this seems real. I still don't understand why I can't wake up. Im here. I feel healed... almost, my head still hurts. Jenna is actually going to let me live with Damon? Not that I don't trust him, I trust him with everything I have. I wish I was going with them. Damon and Jenna drunk, god only knows what kind of trouble they can get into or what kind of fun they'd have. I can see them dancing around or trying to sing with the music. I want to laugh at the thought, it's a good one. I like that Damon and Jenna are friends. Maybe this wasn't all for nothing. I did help Damon after all, everyone was fine. Even if it meant my life. The thought made me sad now. Not long ago it didn't matter but now I wanted to be there. I wanted to be around this new Damon. He was so much better than he gave himself credit for and it was there all along. He just had to let it be and not try to hide and ignore it. He now had a life, a good one at that and friends. I wanted to see it and I wanted to see my family and my friends. I wanted to be with all of them, I missed them. I wanted to see Bonnie and Jer having a good time with out having to worry about something. I wanted see Ric and Jenna fix things. I wanted to see Caroline go crazy with her planning prom and see how Tyler was doing. There was so much I wanted to do but no matter what I was thinking all I could see was Damon's face. Why? How I ever could have thought that dying and leaving them would have been the right answer is beyond me. I wanted to live. Would I? I hope Damon is right. I need to wake up._

"Hear that Elena? You are going to live at the Salvatore Boarding House. Taken care of all the time. We will all still be close to you. I owe Damon so much. Your life. If he wasn't there...I'm not even going to think of it because he was. Boy do you owe him a thank you. Ric sends his love. So let me fill you in on some gossip. Jeremy and Bonnie are dating. Did you already know that? Most likely. I'm the last to find out everything but at least I find out. I'm not mad at you Elena. I get that you did it to try and protect me. You always were wise beyond your years. Your parents would be so proud of you, for how strong you are. Keep fighting and know that I love you. We all do, Jeremy, Ric, Bonnie, Caroline. I think Damon does too. Did you know that? There were times that I just thought you guys had this fllirting thing going on but it's more. I always thought he was your typical player but whatever you did to him, I'd like to know your secret. Stefan let me down, he let you down. I don't know why. I thought he loved you, maybe he does, maybe he just skrewed up. If you forgive him I'll try to forgive him too. You always were smart so I have no doubts that you will make the right decission, the one that best suites you."

"Jenna the nurse needs you at the desk to fill out more insurance papers."

"Sure. I'll go grab us some coffee then Jer."

"Sounds good."

"So Elena, your going to live with Damon? Crazy, huh? I could imagine the two of you really living together, when you wake up I mean, it would be like a battlefield. Damon being smug, you calling him out, fighting because you both think your way is right. I know you love Stefan, but I think that Damon loves you more than he does. Maybe you don't but you haven't seen either of them lately. I'm not just being biast, Damon and I are friends but I'm just calling it like I see it. Damon doesn't lie, Elena. If you can hear me or remember what I'm saying when you wake up, remember that. Everyone misses you. I need you to wake up. It's not the same with out you. I don't care that we don't have the same parents, like I told you before, you'll be my sister forever. I love you."

**_Next Day_**

"So Elena, your comming home with me today. Jenna is signing you out. There's something I need to tell you before we go though, we have eavesdroppers at home. Don't be mad, okay? I don't even know if you can hear me but I need to tell you because I need you to know that I still need you here. Maybe you just need to hear it. I took something from you Elena, I should have never said it the first time but im going to say it again, I gues I'm that much of a masochist. I told you this the night Stefan and I rescued you from Rose and Elijah. I wish I didn't have to make you forget but I did because I couldn't let you carry that around with you. Im telling you now because I almost lost you and I don't know how to live with out you anymore. I'm going to repeat it word for word because I never lied to you and I don't want to take anything away from it. What I'm about to say is probaly the most most selfish thing I've said in my entire life. I just have to say it once, you just need to hear it. I love you Elena and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does. I didn't deserve you then and I don't dererve you now but neither does my brother anymore. I shouldn't love you but I do. You are everything I don't deserve. You are pure and your all heart, you see the good in me, you make me feel human and I'm not. I miss it Elena, almost more than anything. You are that almost. I miss you, Elena. You make me feel everything I haven't felt in over a hundred years. I'm scared to lose you but I'll wait how ever long it takes for you to wake up. We all know how long I can wait and how stubborn I am. Hell I searched for Katherine for over a hundred years. Although you both declared that_ 'it will always be Stefan'._ I want you to know that this has nothing to do with her. You are you. You were never and never will be her. Who I am now is because of you. Because you saw something in me, you had this trust and faith in me that I never deserved. My point is I've never found someone who I needed, you are that person so, yea, remember that. It will _always_ be _you_."

_He holds my hand in his, squeezes it and raises it to cheek and holds it there. My heart breaks at his words and then I feel something wet fall onto my hand and then another. Tears. Never in my life did I think I would live to see...more like feel Damon cry. I feel tears burning in my own eyes. I should be angry that he compelled me but I can't find the anger anywhere in me. All I feel is sadness. Damon and I fight, it's what we do, we hurt each other. It's masochistic but it's us. I thought that he was the only one doing the hurt in our twisted non-relationship but it's been me too. I used the fact that he cared about me, even though I do care about him too, to my advantage. All I want is to open my eyes and tell him how sorry I am. Tell him he's always been the better man, that I need him too, that Katherine was wrong to think so little of him. That maybe Katherine didn't choose him but it doesn't matter because he never deserved her. I never wanted him to get hurt, I never wanted him to die. I needed him. I needed to tell him he would be okay without me. Dammit! I tried to force my eyes open, to move my hand but nothing. _

**_Boarding House- Later that night_**

"Do you know how hard it is to be alone with you with Damon hovering? Remember that day when I told you Damon loved you and you said he didn't even know what love was? This is how Damon loves, that was how Damon loves. He's so mad at me because I didn't protect you like I should have, hell I'm mad at myself. I had to try and convince him that maybe if you heard my voice you would wake up, that you loved me enough but I don't think you do. You don't need me to wake up. I saw your face when Klaus was ready to kill Damon, that's what gave you that extra courage to pull out the dagger at that point. Even though you knew it might not end well, you had to save him. You more than care about him Elena. I don't want to let you go. I want you to be with me. But I have to tell you something. I tried to save Katherine, that's why I didn't save you. I couldn't choose but Damon did. I don't know why it was so hard of a decision but I'm so sorry. I want you to be okay. I want you to wake up. I need you to be okay. I love you. I'm so sorry, Elena."

_He doesn't touch me. He doesn't sit down by me. All I know is that he stands near me. He says some harsh truths. He couldn't choose. Bastard. How could he? He was suppose to be the brother that wanted nothing to do with Katherine. It was suppose to be us but it wasn't. Not anymore._

_Stefan and Katherine. The thought makes me sick._

_Maybe Damon did love me. He was selfish, arrogant, egotistical, a killer, but he was caring, loyal and honest and so much more. And he choose me, when it came down to Katherine, who he tried to find for over a hundred years, and I._

"Times up Stefan, she didn't wake up."

"Who made you the boss?"

_I want him out, Damon. Make him leave. Please._

"I did. You never wanted to make the calls before, you don't get to start now."

"I did what she wanted, Damon."

"You didn't save her."

"I know that. You remind me everyday. Don't you think I feel bad enough?"

"No. I don't St. Stefan. You always get the girl. You always get a free pass, everyone loves you. Your the good brother. Not this time. I blame this on you. Get out!"

_This time I'm Team Damon. He was right. Stefan must leave because Damon comes over and holds my hand in his. It's weird how well they fit together even though I can't close mine around his._

"I'm sorry."

_Why?_

"I didn't want him to upset you. I shouldn't have yelled."

_He did anyway. Yes, yes you should have. I would be yelling if I could._

"You'll be yelling enough for both of us when you wake up. Don't worry I'll be here to help you when you need a time out to relax."

_Georgia._

"Like Georgia, remember?"

_Of course. I'd never forget. That's when I first saw there was so much more to you._

"Bet you do. You had fun, even if you want to deny it."

_I don't._

"I'll take you there once you wake up."

_I'd love to. I needed a time out right now even though it was impossible._

"I'm going to sleep in here with you, not with you, Elena, get your mind out of the gutter."

_I can pracitcally hear him smirk. I wish I could see it._

"I'm sleeping on the couch. Now that I finally have you here with me, no matter how long it's for, till you wake up and hate me again, I'm going to relax knowing your safe. You will always be safe with me. Goodnight, Elena."

_A light kiss on my forehead. _

_I always knew I was safe with you. I could never hate you, although I hate to admit it._


	3. Chapter 3

**I have no idea how Damon is going to survive the werewolf bite but he better! Fingers crossed. TVD would never be the same with out Damon. This is my spin on the outcome, let me know what you think! I did not kill Jenna and Elijah did not go back on his word. **

**Chapter 3**

_Oh how the mighty have fallen..._

_I was skrewed. _

_A werewolf bite, with no cure._

_Lethal to vampires. _

_Because I did the right thing._

_For what?_

_For her._

_Elena. _

_I couldn't let Caroline die._

_It would hurt Elena. I was past doing anything that would hurt Elena since the day I forced my blood down her throat in my room._

_She would wake up and she would be able to live now._

_She would be okay._

_That was all I wanted. _

_Her forgiveness is all I needed but I'd be dead before I got to even try to make up for skrewing up._

_I would never have her love. I didn't deserve it anyway._

"We are going to find a cure for this Damon."

"There isn't one Stefan."

"I may be able to find the cure." Elijah chimes in as ever the save the day king he tries to be.

"Where?"

"Europe."

"Elaborate, now." I say as I down my drink. Stefan gives me his relax and play nice eyes.

"There is a way to kill vampires, witches, and werewolves, why wouldn't we find a way to cure a werewolf bite?"

"Is there, Elijah?" Stefan asks hopeful.

"Let's go. you and Katerina. I'll take you there." Elijah calmy tells Stefan and he nods along with Katherine. "Caroline will stay here and help you deal with this. Your witch can use a spell to slow the process. It's in one of the spell books. The cure is hard to find but I know where it originated ."

"I'll call Bonnie." Blondie chimes in.

"Don't I get a say?"

"No." Stefan says.

"What do you mean no? It's my life."

"I owe you, Damon. I'm not going to let you die now, I was the reason for it once and I never forgave myself for it and you never forgave me. Let me do this Damon. Don't give up, not when you have come so far. I made just as many mistakes as you, Damon and I'm paying for them now, I'm getting what I deserve. I'm a big boy but I still need you. _Elena needs you_." He tells me as he pokes his finger in my chest trying to make his point. Knowing to use Elena because she is my only weakness.

"You won't make it. I'll die first."

"Not with the help of the spell. Let's go, time is precious." Elijah says and Stefan pats me on the back before they walk out the door.

"Why are you helping me, Elijah?"

"For Elena. I gave her my word to keep you alive." He says before he shuts the door.

"You can't give up, Damon."

"Who says?"

"I do."

"And who do you think you are?"

"I'm going to be Elena right now, since she's not here. You need to hear this, Damon. She may be mad at you but she wouldn't let you just give up. She'd yell at you and tell you that you have been so great to all of us. You saved me Damon. Twice, first when I was in the accident and second when Tyler came at me and you barely like me. I know that it's because of her but I appreciate it, we all appreciate it. None of us hate you Damon, you may want us to but we don't. She would fight for you just like you did for her. Don't you want that?"

"All I want is for her to forgive me before I die. Because just like Rose, I will die. I'm going to get more blood. I'm going to need it. Stay with her." A broken Damon. A day I never thought I'd see. I only have one last option.

"Well Elena. You survived being with Damon alone for two days. If you were awake I don't know if I could say that. I'm sure you guys would be fighting about something or other. I miss you. Tyler is doing good. I'm just going to get to the point here. Look there's something I need to tell you. Damon ran out for some more blood so we have a few minutes. Stefan and Katherine left. Not for the reason you think, Damon got bit by Tyler. He's been keeping it from us. Stefan only found out when he was arguing with Damon about you, he went to walk away and Stefan grabbed his arm. Damon winced in pain. Damon never winces, only when Bonnie uses her freaky mind tricks. Somehow he's not as bad off as Rose was. Maybe it's because it wasn't that bad of a bite, maybe because...I don't know Elena. Elijah says there is a spell to slow down the process, Bonnie, Jeremy, Jenna and Ric are on it. Elijah took Stefan and Katherine with him to find the cure. He says it's scarce but he just may be able to find it. I hated Damon, at least I thought I did. I don't want him to die. He saved me. We couldn't get Tyler chained up fast enough, he lunged at me and Damon stepped in. And he's going to die because of it. I don't want that and I know you wouldn't either. You are the only one that can convince him to fight."

_No. No. No. _

_Caroline muffles her sobs. _

_This was not the way things were suppose to happen. Damon cannot die._

"Elena you need to wake up. He needs you more than anything. I was talking to him before he left and he sounded so defeated. I told him that he has so much to fight for, to live for. He said the only thing he wants is your forgiveness, he doesn't want to die knowing you will always hate him."

_But I don't._

"He's sorry he gave you his blood. He's sorry for everything, he didn't say it but I see it in his eyes. He asked me to make sure that I took care of you when he was gone. I asked him not to kill Tyler earlier, that it was an accident and he said it wasn't worth it. That's not Damon. Please, Elena."

_No. This can't happen. _

_Damon, my mind screams. And just like that I hear his voice._

"Blondie, what are you doing?"

"Telling her the truth."

"She can't hear you."

"You don't believe that. I hear you talking to her all the time like she can."

"Wishful thinking."

"You don't believe that. Talk to her. Tell her you need her. Ask her to wake up. Tell her you love her. Tell her how much everyone needs her."

"Been there, done that."

"Do it again, Damon. You want her forgiveness, get her to wake up. You never lied to her before, don't start now."

_He doesn't even contemplate it because within a few seconds he's next to me. Sitting down and stroking my cheek with one hand taking my hand in his other. It was our thing now. I quite enjoyed how safe and relaxed it made me feel._

"I'm dying Elena. I tried to be the hero for you. I don't regret it. Your still alive. I tried to save everyone you loved. I needed you to be happy. That was the only thing I cared about or wanted anyway. I have skrewed up so much with you, the only person who gave a damn about me when everyone else wanted me dead. I don't know how to forgive myself for what I've done. The things I feel for you, feel because of you, I've ran from for years and now it's too late. I just need you to wake up, to be okay and be here with me for the little time I have left. Yours is the only voice I want to hear. You may never love me and that's okay. I never wanted to lose you but I also know that I can't have you, your Stefan's but it doesn't change the fact that I love you, Elena."

_I will myself to wake up. I try to squeeze his hand. I had to wake up. There was no other choice. I feel my hand close around his. I did it._

"Elena?"

"She's holding your hand!" Caroline squeels out. Proud of herself. She knew I needed something to fight for, something to hold onto. I slowly open my eyes and glance at her quick and she's smiling with tears in her eyes.

"Damon." I manage to get out. It's slurred but it's still out. He moves closer, hovering over. I clear my throat.

"Elena!" He says as he pulls my hand to his lips and kisses it. Things were a little blurry at first. But he's all I see now. Those perfectly blue eyes. His trademark smirk.

"I'm here." I tell him as I smile at him and hold his hand tighter.

"I'm so sorry."

"Shh." I say as I place my hand on his face. Tears in my eyes. I move my hand behind his head and pull him down to me and I hold him. Like there is no tomorrow again. Because I know that there may not be for him. All we have is right now. I feel a tear falls onto my shoulder and that's enough to send me over the edge as I break down. Now he's the one telling me to shh. That it's going to be fine. It's not. Because it's too late. I was suppose to die and now Damon _will_ die. How are we suppose to fix this? He fought so hard for me, was it all for him to just die? Why was fate so cruel? Dammit. I needed him. I could not let this happen. Caroline said that Elijah knew something about a cure, it had to work. I couldn't bear the thought of Damon dying. It crippled me in ways that it shouldn't. It broke my heart because I didn't know how much of it belonged to Damon, I was tied to him in ways I wasn't even aware of untill this moment. I always felt more for Damon than I should but this was something else. I woke up for _him_. Because he needed me to. Not Stefan. He pulls away too quickly and walks over to the window, trying to hide the tears that fell from Caroline.

"I'm going to give you guys some time, I'll call everyone and tell them your awake, Elena and see where Bonnie is with the spell."

"Thanks Care." I smile at her before she leaves us alone, to talk, to fight.

"Damon you should be resting."

"Someone has to play hero."

"You are the hero. There was no playing. You saved us all, you didn't let Bonnie die like you said you would."

"I couldn't. Not when I could save her. Thankfully it never came down to a choice."

"Even Caroline?"

"It was all for you."

"Even you don't believe that anymore. Everything you did is because you care." I try to move to get up but my whole body is stiff and I struggle.

"What do you think your doing?"

"Getting you to go into your room."

"I'm still stronger than you Elena."

"But you will be where I am. I heard everything Damon. You barely ever left me. Now you can carry me to your room and we can both rest or I could fall and hurt myself trying to get there on my own. Either way I'll be resting on that big and I'm sure comfortable bed of yours."

"You were alot easier to talk to while you were asleep."

"Somehow I knew you would say that." I tell him as I wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me into his arms. We make our way over to his room and he places me in bed and covers me before laying down next to me. His bed was comfortable.

"You really shouldn't be around me right now."

"I'm the only person that should be around you."

"So I can finish you off?"

"No, because you won't. You may think I'm Katherine, you may get hungry but you won't hurt me. I'll remind you that it's me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you Damon."

"There's something I want to say."

"What's that?"

"If I do think your Katherine it's because I'm remembering my past, I want you to know that you are nothing like her. You are everything she isn't. You are everything." His face tightens and I can see the pain in his eyes.

"Damon?"

"Hmm?" He barely gets out, trying to muffle the pain from showing.

"Look at me." I place my hand on his chest and comb through his hair with my other hand. He looks at me with wide eyes. Those eyes hold every emotion he feels in them. They are his soul. "Breathe. I'm right here and I'm not leaving you." He growls in pain. "Shh. We are going to figure this out. Damon listen to my voice. I heard what you said while I was asleep. I want you to know something too, no matter what you have done I have always choosen you too. You just never saw it like that and I never fully realized what it meant. I knew I was saving you because I cared but it was so much more. I'm not just saying this because of what happened. You deserve to know." I feel his chest relax under my hand, his eyes still focused on me, confused. "But I won't forgive you, not this time, not now."

"I'm sorry." He says giving up any hope at convincing me other wise.

"I can't forgive you, Damon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"I can't forgive you, Damon...I..."

"I understand." He replys in a low whisper.

"No, you don't. Let me finish. I can't forgive you because I heard what Caroline said. I know that it's all you want. Well your not getting it. I won't give it to you so you can give up. When you are cured we will revisit the subject but untill then I will fight for you, even if you have nothing left to fight with, I _will_ fight for _you_."

"Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Tell me about it. We go from one extreme to the next."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why are you fighting for me now? I skrewed up so bad. Karma is a bitch and lets face it, I deserve it."

"Because I need you too, Damon, I always have. Now sleep. You spent way too much time taking care of me."

"I wanted to."

"I know." I telling him as I lay my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I shouldn't feel safe, I shouldn't want to forgive him. I shouldn't be able to but its a moot point because I don't even have to think twice about it. I'm angry about choices he made but that's all it is is anger and right now that anger is no where to be found. All I do know is that we have hurt each other and somethings can't be forgotten but it doesn't mean they can't be forgiven. Damon is the prime example for that. He snaped Jeremy's neck and even Jeremy doesn't hate him. Bonnie is a witch and it goes against her nature to trust a vampire but the night of the dance she choose to let Damon be the one to help her and confide in. There were so many times he hurt me but I never once fully hated him. I just couldn't. He has made Stefan's life hell but he's never hated his brother. A long time ago I said that Damon had no redeeming qualities but it's the opposite, he's full of them as long as you get to know him. The real him. And now I was going to lose him, after I fought so hard for him to realize he deserves so much more than he thinks. There had to be a way. Elijah _had_ to find one.

_**Two Hours Later**_

"Jenna is here. I'll give you guys some time alone."

"Don't go too far." I tell him knowing that if he stays close enough that he will listen to our conversation. I didn't know how else to tell him, to show him. I was so confused about Stefan and Katherine, so afraid he would die.

"I won't." He says squeezing my hand and kissing it before he gets out of bed and leaves. The hand holding had somehow become our thing and to both of our suprises I'm sure, I had no objections to it.

"Oh my god, Elena, I'm so glad that your awake. I was so scared that you weren't going to wake up. Damon saved you did he tell you? Do you know what happened with Stefan? Elena, I'm so sorry. Damon told me everything and I want you to know that I'm not mad, I was a little upset but.."

"Jenna, slow down."

"Right, sorry. Your okay."

"I'm okay." I tell her and she smiles, the tears in her eyes fall. She gives me a big hug and then sits down next to me.

"Damon's bed is huge." She laughs.

"It's comfortable."

"What do you remember Elena?"

"I know Damon saved me, I know somewhat about Stefan and Katherine, and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about everything. I was trying to protect you. I was trying to save eveyone but somehow my plan didn't go as planned. I'll tell you anything you want to know, just not yet because none of that matter right now."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter, of course it does."

"Not now, Damon is going to die, if we don't find a cure."

"Elijah..."

"I know but I can't fully count on that. I need a plan b. I need for you to get Jer, Bonnie and Ric together. Look through the journals. There has to be something. I'm not going to let him die. It's not an option."

"Elena, there may be no cure. Ric told me all about Rose."

"Like I said that's not an option." I tried to force away the tears that I could feel welling in my eyes but not fast enough to elude Jenna.

"Oh, Elena, I'm so sorry."

"You have to stop apoligizing, you have nothing to be sorry about."

"Honey, you were there when it happend to Rose. You need to prepare yourself..."

"Jenna, no. I will not lose him. I can't. He saved my life, now I'm going to save his. One way or another."

"Does he know?"

"Know?"

"That you love him."

"No."

"Don't you think you should tell him?"

"He's most likely listening to this conversation. I asked him not to go far. I can't tell him. Not yet. I need him to know but I need him to fight to live to hear it. I'm not going to give him a deathbed confession because he thinks he's dying. When Stefan comes back with a cure and after I talk to him about us, I will tell Damon. I won't say the words before that. He fought for me for so long but he skrewed up majiorly. If he wants to make it up to me he can live. When I was asleep, in a coma, whatever you want to call it, I heard everything. I know how much he loves me, what he risked. I couldn't face it because I was being so loyal to Stefan. Well when I was being so loyal to Stefan he was fighting his feelings for Katherine. I ignored everything I felt for Damon because it wasn't right. I was with his brother. Everyone accuses Katherine of using them, playing them both, I was scared to be like her because I had feelings for both of them. I was wrong, I'm not like her, I won't use them, I won't play them. She chose Stefan, she made that clear. He was the only one she ever truly loved."

"Elena, what are you saying?"

"I choose Damon. I always have. Everytime I saved him, stuck up for him, forgave him. He saw it before I could even begin to try and accept it. Caroline was talking to me before I woke up and told me to fight to wake up because Damon needed me and Jenna I woke up. Damon was enough, he always has been. We strive on fighting and fighting for each other."

"I hope he survives, for your sake, I hope there's a cure. I don't want him to die either, Elena, not after he saved you. I'll call Jer and Ric. Bonnie is on her way with the spell."

"Okay. Will you tell Damon to come back? He's dowstairs having a drink, most likely by the fireplace."

"How.."

"He's still Damon." We bought laugh at that. He was still Damon and I needed him to be excatally that. He was the better man, he was the monster. And I loved it. The better man saved Caroline and the monster saved me. It was a fine line but it was okay with me. I accepted who Damon was a long time ago.

"For someone who is in love with my brother you know me so well."

"I know you heard our conversation, Damon. I wanted you to hear it. You wanted me to fight, I did. Now I gave you something to fight for. Now do it."

"Demanding aren't we?"

"I have to be."

"Elena, why are you doing this?"

"You heard me. I'm not giving you anything else. Not yet." He sits down next to me on the bed not looking anymore convinced that he should fight.

"You said it was _always_ going to be Stefan."

"I'm never going to live those words down. I know what I said, Damon, I meant it then. Somewhere along the lines things changed. Don't ask me how or why because I'm not even sure at this point. All I know is what I feel."

"I don't deserve to live, Elena, I don't. I've skrewed up so much. I've ruined so many lives. I've hurt you, everyone you loved. But at the sacrifice when you looked at me I still saw something in your eyes for me. I wondered how you could still give a damn, still look at me with out hatred."

"I just _can't_ hate you. I should but I _can't_. Not even when I tried could I hate you." I take his hand in mine just as he did to mine while I was trapped inside my sleeping body that wouldn't wake up. Our eyes lock together and we just sit right here, together.

"Guys, I don't mean to interupt but I found the spell."

"Bonnie!"

"God, Elena, it's so good to see you." My best friend comes over and hugs me. It's so good to see her.

"Damon, why didn't you tell me? I could have been looking for a cure for awhile now."

"We had to focus on Elena."

"I could have done both."

"I didn't know you cared so much."

"I could say the same about you."

"Witch." He smiles at her.

"Vampire." She smiles back. "Now let me try and help you." She chants the spell holding onto Damon's arm and sprinkling something over it. Their gazes are locked on each other. Within minutes she lets him go and the wound on his arm gets lighter and smaller. "It's slowing it down. I can do the spell once a day, it will shrink it and cause you to have less pain and hullicinations but it won't cure it. I'm going to look for a cure. I promise."

"Thank you, Bonnie."

"Your welcome. I don't want you to die Damon."

"I didn't want you to die either."

"Thank you. Can I have some time with Elena?"

"Sure. I'm quite hungry. Are you Elena?" Damon asks rolling his sleve back down and grabbing his coat to leave. Giving me some real privacy.

"Sure. How about a burger?"

"Sounds good to me. Bonnie?"

"That would be great, I'm pretty hungry too."

"Okay, I'll pick up Jeremy on my way and we'll be back soon."

"Oh, Damon?"

"I know Elena, no pickles."

"Right." I smile at him before he turns to leave.

"He loves you."

"Caroline told me what I missed." I tell her. Not sure how to bring up the subject. She use to hate Damon once upon a time.

"Yea. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you?" Hm. No one could tell before how I felt about him. Maybe I became that good at hiding it.

"That you felt the same."

"I didn't even want to acknowledge it myself. I was scared of what it meant. I was so selfish. I may have tried not to hurt Stefan but I was doing a hell of a lot of damage to Damon. Bonnie he was suppose to be the bad brother, the one with no redeeming qualities. None of that was true. He's been hurt so much. He's so different now and he finally is getting the life he deserves and look what happened."

"I'll do as much as I can. We just need to hope that Elijah finds the cure."

"Klaus is dead. My life should go back to being as normal as it can but it won't. Not if Damon dies. I won't just be able to go on and forget him. I still think of my parents all the time. Damon has been so difficult but I can't imagine a day without him. I get why he fed me that blood, because I feel the same way now. If I thought my blood would heal him I would shove it down his throat. Maybe if things happened differently I wouldn't be here at all or I wouldn't be saying or doing what I am now but eventually I would. He was never just my friend."

"I knew he was in love with you a long time ago."

"Everyone did. I couldn't...and now..."

"There's always a way Elena. We will find one." Bonnie comes over to the bed and pulls me into a hug and I let the tears fall freely. I needed her to be right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Europe**

**Stefan's P.O.V**

"Hello?"

"Elena? Is that you?"

"Ya." She tells me, Elena was awake...and with Damon. That was a good thing wasn't it?

"My god, your awake. Are you..."

"Stop. Did you find a cure?"

"Yes. It's Tyler's blood but we need to get it during his transformation. It's the only possible cure."

"The full moon isn't for two weeks, Stefan." Her voice goes from strong to shaky after hearing what I had to say. I knew that she cared about Damon, I knew that she would most likely forgive Damon but this quick, it was a record.

"I know. We are on our way back. How's Damon?"

"Asleep. We'll see you when you guys get back. I don't want to wake Damon."

"Bye, Elena. I'm glad your okay." **_Click._** I didn't even manage to get the rest of my sentence out but I kept talking anyway. I skrewed up and she knew it.

"Sleeping with Damon already?"

"Shut. up. Katherine."

"She really is more like me than we thought. All but in one department."

"She is nothing like you." I growl out.

"Humor me."

"Why should I?"

"I'm sensing a little bit of Damon in you. Defelecting, but it's not you, leave it to Damon. Is it because you are afraid of what I have to say?"

"No." _Yes._

"The one way we differ is that I always loved you. It was always _you_. I would let him die to save you if it came down to you and him and at one point I recall it did, with the dagger. There was _never_ a choice. Damon was easy. Granted he's more fun now but I never loved him the way I loved you."

"Quit rambling Katherine and make your point."

"My point is, _Elena loves Damon_. Accept it. I'll pack my bag and then we can head to the airport." So sure, so confident. Damn her. I hated her, _mostly_. I tried to keep my emotions in check but I knew there was truth in her words. Elena was always saving him, always forgiving him. My fist connected with the closest thing before I could even think to stop it.

"What did the wall do to you, Stefan?"

"Nothing Elijah. Katherine will be ready soon. We need to get there as fast as possible. I'll call for the soonest flight."

"I imagine this isn't easy for you."

"You don't know anything."

"Don't I?" He asks walking over to the window. I say nothing and just look at him, he nods giving me a knowing smile, looks out the window and continues. "I had told Damon when he gave her his blood that she will never forgive him and never for a vampire is a long time. I thought it was true. I didn't think someone would be able to forgive that. Then I saw Damon with her afterwards and for the monster I've heard he was and claimed to be, I saw nothing. The only pure thing about Damon is _his_ love for _her_. She is his humanity in every sense. It's as if she is the only reason he still wants to exist. She sees that. She sees that she makes him good and that is why she loves him, the real _him_ that _she_ brings out. Katerina is right, you'll need to accept it." His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I have always known she had a soft spot for him but now that it's a real possibility that I may lose her, I dont want to see that it's much more real than I thought. "You have a choice. The former or the latter."

"What do you mean?"

"You save him and you lose her or you let him die and try to win her back. Because lets face it, you didn't come to her rescue and her feelings for Damon are going to have to be pushed away and forgotten somehow." He finishes before Katherine walks back in the room. I have nothing to say. Am I selfish enough to let my brother die just to make it up to Elena and hope she gives me that chance? I love her but he's my brother.

**Mystic Falls**

"I'm not going to make it two weeks Elena."

"With Bonnie's spell..."

"Elena, how long do you think that spell will work?" He barely manages to whisper. Where was Bonnie? She needed to do the spell again. He was gettting worse.

"It has to work. I'm not going to lose you."

"You need to lock me in the basement. I _can't_ hurt you."

"You won't. Damon your bite wasn't as severe as Rose's, Bonnie says it's because he wasn't fully transformed, so we have more time. "

"You don't know that Elena. I need you to tell Stefan I'm sorry. I know you love Stefan. And it will always be Stefan. But I love you. You should know that." He has never said the words to me while I was awake. His eyes showed they were true. He meant them with everything he had in them. He still thought it was always going to be Stefan. I was in limbo what to do. I didn't want to give him closure, because it _couldn't_ be the end.

"I do."

"You should have met me in 1864. You would have liked me."

"I like you now. Just the way you are." The tears in my eyes fall freely. There is no stoping them. I lay down next to him and rest my head on the pillow. His eyes drift open and closed.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome." I lift my head and place a light kiss on his lips and he gives me a weak smile. I didn't kiss him because he was dying, I didn't kiss him because I felt sorry for him, I kissed him because things did not look good and I needed to feel his lips on mine just as much as I knew he needed to feel mine. Because the reality was we were running out of time, he took too long telling us about the bite. I layed my head back down on his shoulder and took his hand in mine. This is not how things were suppose to end.

"Go away Katherine."

"Damon..."

"You used me, you never...I loved you...Why?...I was never enough...Where's Elena?"

"I'm Elena."

"No, your not. Where is she? Don't you dare hurt her Katherine. I'll kill you."

"Damon, listen to me, look at me. I'm Elena. Katherine is with Stefan and Elijah." I plead with him knowing this could turn bad quickly. I stroke his cheek with the back of my hand. Trying to calm him down. I wipe away the sweat off his forehead.

"Elena?"

"Ya, that's right."

"It's really you?"

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"You should...I didn't want you to know...I wanted you to wake up and I'd be dead. I never wanted you to see me like this. I wanted to die honerable in your eyes, not pathetic."

"I don't want you to die at all." I can barely breath. The tears are overwhelming and my chest hurts. I'm suffocating with his words.

"I'm a bad person Elena, I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed me to be, what you deserved. I know you know Stefan skrewed up but you should forgive him. He loves you and he'll protect you." No. He was giving up. He was saying his goodbyes. It hit me then. I had to tell him, if he was going to die he had to know.

"Damon, I..."

"Hey guys..." Bonnie and Jeremy walk into Damon's room and I quickly wipe away the tears. "I always seem to interupt." Bonnie smiles lightly.

"It's okay."

"Stefan called. I'm looking for a way to allow Tyler to turn with out the full moon. He's willing to do it."

"You need to hurry." I tell her moving off the bed and walking over to hug Jeremy.

"Elena, why don't you and Jeremy go outside for some fresh air."

"Come on Elena. Bonnie will sit with Damon." Jeremy wraps his arm around my shoulder, I look back at a passed out Damon and we walk out of the room as Bonnie begins the spell.

X*X

"Bonnie?"

"I'm here Damon." He opens his eyes. He looked so weak. Nothing like the Damon I knew. Even I thought nothing could touch him.

"You need to make sure she knows I loved her. I always have. Keep her safe. Jeremy and Jenna too, she can't lose them."

"Damon, you aren't going to die."

"I am. Where's Elena?"

"Getting some air with Jeremy." I tell him cleaning up the towels from around him. He was no longer sweating and more coherent than when I first got here.

"Is Ric here?"

"He's downstairs with Jenna."

"Go keep Elena and Jeremy company. I want to talk to Ric."

"Okay. I'll get him." I give his hand a quick squeeze before I leave. I was a little sad that he might die, now that I knew the real Damon it wasn't easy to picture him not here anymore.

X*X

"I brought you some burbon."

"I need it. I need a favor too Ric."

"What? You need some blood? Sorry I'm not on the menu."

"You've been around me way too much. That's not what I need. I need you to kill me."

"What? You are delerious, aren't you? We know the cure."

"I won't make it and I won't let Caroline or Stefan get bitten trying to get blood from wolf boy."

"We'll figure something out."

"If you can't and I try to hurt Elena, you have to promise me. You are about the only real friend I have becides Elena. I appreciate it, even after I killed your wife and all."

"Your a jackass but your my friend too Damon. And if you need me to do it I will but only if it's the last and only option."

"Thank you. You should marry Jenna, give Elena and Jeremy a real family."

"Relationship advice? Really, Damon?"

"Just some wisdom from a guy who's seen alot of bad. You have it good. Don't skrew it up."

"I won't but you shouldn't either."

"I'm dying Ric, how can I skrew it up?"

"By giving up. I've seen Elena. I know how you feel about her. I think she feels the same and if you die, you'll never get to find out."

"I don't have a choice."

"Fight, just like you did when you fought for her."

"I'm trying. The puppy blood might not work though. I'm just making an insurance plan."

"What kind of insurance plan?" Damon and Ric turn around and look at me like they got caught doing something they shouldn't. I knew it wasn't good just by the looks on their faces. "Damon?"

"It's nothing Elena."

"Your lying."

"She's good." Ric tells Damon looking at him and giving him a soft pat on the back before walking out of the room. He looks at me, his eyebrows furrow and I know he's contemplating lying to me but he won't.

"I asked Ric to kill me if the cure doesn't work."

"Damon, no!" I walk over to him, take his glass and pour a drink. I down it before he even reaches for it and he looks at me and smiles. I can't help but smile back and then I pour him one and to my suprise he sets it down.

"Listen to me for once. I will die one way or another. Let me choose the way this time. Please." My face is in his hands and his eyes are pleading with me. How can I refuse it, what he's saying is true.

"Let me do it. If it comes down to that. I want to be the one to do it. I want to spend every last minute with you. I'll tell you everything you need to hear and I need to say. You won't be alone."

"Okay." He says tucking my hair behind my ears and leading me back on to the bed. We climb in and he holds me, we have spent so much time in this bed in the past few days and yet I'm still exhausted. Damon's breating evens out and I allow myself to sleep too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**15 hours later**

"Elena?"

"Hmm?"

"I need you to let me go."

"No. Stefan, Katherine and Elijah are back. Everyone is downstairs. Bonnie is writing her own spell to induce the transformation."

"It's too risky."

"It's not. We have Ric's bag of weapons. We have the wolvesbane. All we have to do is get him down and cut him and get some of his blood."

"Elena, please."

"No. Just a few more hours. Bonnie thinks this will work."

"And if doesn't?"

"You've always been there when I needed you. At the Miss Mystic Falls pagent, rescuing me after I crashed my car, taking me to Georiga for a time out, making me laugh and smile at the decade dance when I was scared out of my mind. And that is only half of it. You always knew what I needed, even when I didn't. I'm not going to give that up. so you stay with me dammit."

"Being a human, it meant nothing to me, I killed and I didnt care, you changed it all. I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve this. I deserve to die."

"No! You dont! I need you to stop saying that."

"I do, Elena. It's okay. Because if I had chosen differently I wouldn't have met you. I'm so sorry. I've done so many things to hurt you."

"It's okay. I forgive you." I tell him just in case because I would never forgive myself if I didn't give him what he needed.

'Elena, can I have a minute with my brother?"

"Sure."

"Elena..."

"I'll be in the hallway. Stefan wants to talk to you." I kiss his hand and let go before walking past Stefan and giving him a sueeze on his arm and the best smile I can muster up at the moment.

X*X

**Stefan's p.o.v**

"Stefan?"

"I told you I'd find something."

"Always the hero."

"I could say the same for you. It's time for you to get that hero hairdo." I laugh as he gives me a half smile and opens his eyes slightly.

"Don't do this."

"I'm not going to let you die."

"I'm sorry I made your existence hell."

"Your my older brother, it's what your suppose to do."

"I took it to the extreme, don't you think?"

"Maybe. You can make it up to me by not doing anything stupid till we try Bonnie's spell."

"Your life would be so much easier with out me." My brother had never sounded so defeated and so weak. Damon being weak was something that I never thought would happen. He was always the strong one, even when we were human.

"That maybe true but it would be boring. I know I was partly responsible for you turning and if you hate me for it, that's fine, but I need you."

"I need you too...brother." We have our fights. We have more issues than I can count. We haven't had anything close to a real relationship between brothers but this was something. He called me his brother without malice, without motive. There was never a former or latter like Elijah said. I loved Elena but Damon was and would forever be my brother. If I lost her to him, I would deal with it. I would not be selfish with Damon again.

"Elena loves you, you know?"

"She loves you more, Stefan."

"I don't know about that brother."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

X*X

I sit down on the floor, my back against the wall. I close my eyes and pretend that this is all a nightmare. But it wasn't. There was something going on with Stefan and Katherine and I would have to face that now that they were back. Damon was going to die if this didn't work. I was going to lose him. Just when I realzied he was mine to lose.

"It's okay to love them both. I did."

"You bitch!" My voice seethes as I get up off the floor and she walks closer. "You never loved him. You used him."

"A part of me loved him but he was never enough for me."

"It was always Stefan, huh?" I felt so much disgust for Katherine and for myself. I did the same thing. Stefan always had our undying love. Not that he didn't deserve it, Stefan was good but why did it have to hurt Damon in the process?

"Always. Don't go all miss innocent on me. You love them both, just like I did. There is nothing wrong with it. Just don't make my mistake. Choose. If you don't they will both hate you."

"Like they hate you?"

"Don't fool yourself either. Stefan_ does not_ hate me and Damon just...dislikes me." Katherine was always so confident. Like she believed everything she was saying, or knew it was true. The sad part was that she was right, maybe it was okay to love them both. Because it was so easy to love them both.

"I love Stefan, I always will but it will always be Damon I choose." I tell her honestly. No more denying it. It was going to come out, one way or another. But I won't say the actual words with out saying them to Damon first.

"I know that. A blind person would see that." She smirks twriling her hair.

"Your loving this aren't you?"

"I have to say...yes."

"Of course. Now you have a better chance with Stefan."

"Oh, Elena, are you really so nieve? Damon never hid his love for me, he strived on it and I lost all of it when he found out I betrayed him. Stefan loved me and tried to repress it because he didn't want to become what Damon had, it had nothing to do with not loving me. The Salvatore brothers are cursed with falling in love with the Petrova dopplegangers. This time the two brothers are each in love with one doppleganger. Not both, not anymore. You know it as well as I do, Stefan couldn't kill me when he had the chance, neither could Damon but when Klaus staked me and threw you off of him, each brother made their choice. You know it just as well as I do."

"And does Stefan know that you gave me the dagger to kill Klaus?"

"No." She deadpans.

"He will." I bluff. She didn't deserve Stefan, but if she could make him happy then why should I take it away. Because with or without Damon here I still loved him and I couldn't be with Stefan knowing I'd be wishing it was Damon. Stefan was good enough, but he wasn't Damon. And I needed Damon.

"Your not going to tell him." Damn she was good.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. You know Stefan could be happy with me and as straight laced as you _almost _are, you still wouldn't stay with Stefan. You will always want Damon. We are quite alike. For me, always, Stefan. For you, now, always Damon." She says as if she can read my mind and I wonder for a second if she can.

"I won't say anything."

"For what it's worth, thanks."

"I need you to promise that you will help make sure no one gets hurt trying to get Tyler's blood."

"Relax Elena, this isn't a covert operation. It's simple. He takes the wolvesbane, during transformation we shoot him and get the blood."

"And if he bites Caroline or Stefan?"

"He will be too out of it and if he does at least we'll have the cure. We have your witch who can knock him out with her freaky mind tricks if the wolf gets out of control."

"Okay. This will work then."

"Yes and you can have your Damon back."

"Thank you Katherine." I tell her as she walks into Damon's room to get Stefan and I follow.

"It's time. Elena will stay with Damon. We have to meet everyone at the Lockwood property."

"Everyone's going?" I ask wondering why they all had to be there.

"Jenna wants to be with Ric and same with Jer and Bonnie. Caroline wants to stay with Tyler." Stefan tells me. I walk over to the bed and sit becide Damon who looks up and me and then to Katherine.

"Why are you helping me?" He asks her and I'd like to know the answer to that too. Her face contorts and it shows a little remorse but it's gone in a flash and she's composed again. Maybe she had a little humanity left in her, she had to for Stefan to...love her.

"I owe you this. I killed you once, so if I can help keep you alive now, I will." She says. It's sincere and not Katherine like. Stefan looks over to her and smiles. Yes, he loved her, I was sure of it now. And it was okay. It woud be our secret about the dagger. Damon nods at her and closes his eyes again. He rests his head on my lap and I wipe his face off with a wet cloth. Stefan looked at me knowingly and turned to leave with Katherine. I layed down next to Damon and for the first time in, I can't even remember I pray. I pray that it works. I fall asleep, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster that is my life.

The next thing I know Damon is being pulled out of my arms and it startles me. It's Stefan with a jar...with blood. He was pouring some of it into a half out of it Damon. He chokes at first and I'm afraid that he's going to vomit it up but it stays down. Stefan and I lock eyes and I move to pull Damon's sleve up, the bite was going away. And before we know it it's gone, as if were never even there. It worked. I throw my arms around Stefan. He did it. I pull away and he looks at me and smiles. We look over to Damon who is no longer sweating, no longer delerious and we both smile at him. I throw myself onto him. Not caring that he's still weak. I needed to feel him hold me. And he doesn't dissapoint. His arms come around me and it's something we've never done. It's always been one sided. Not this time.

"Your okay. I knew you would be." I smile at him, placing my hand on his face. I see his beautiful blue eyes and they have life in them again. Finally.

"I'm going to need some blood. Fast."

"Want me to get it?" Stefan asks.

"No, I'll come down."

"That's good. Everyone I'm sure wants to see you."

"Never thought I'd hear that." He says getting off the bed. "I look at him a smile still on my face and notice his face doesn't show all the relief it should. Why? He was going to live.

"I'll give you guys a minute." Stefan says moving to leave.

"Damon..." I don't know where to start. I'm trying to process that everyone is okay and it worked out good for once.

"It's okay, Elena. You don't have to say anything. You thought I was going to die. You just woke up, your feelings were all over the place. I was here. I get it." He was really saying this. Did he honesty believe I had so much pity for him to blatently lie?

"No!"

"No?"

"No. Do you think I was saying it because you were dying?"

"Weren't you?"

"God, you are pigheaded. Sometimes I don't even know why I try so hard, you do a great job at skrewing things up and I don't get why anymore, I thought that maybe... You know what just go see everyone. This was not suppose to be go damn gloomy right now. Everyone is happy. _I_ was so happy. _You_ are alive. I wanted you alive, along with everyone else. Everyone was okay and the threat is gone. But talking to you right now is futile. You and your masochistic nature skrewed it up. Go get some blood Damon, you need it, your still weak. Thank everyone for saving you." I push the tears away and I try to cover up the hurt look as I push past him and walk out of the room and stop outside the door when I hear him start to say something.

"You saved me, Elena." Is all I hear him say. I close my eyes and smile again. He was still the same Damon, afraid of his feelings, trying not to get hurt again. He was _my_ Damon. I walk back in and take his hand, to my suprise he lets me. They close tightly around each other for the first time, we hold hands like any normal coupal would. Except that we aren't. _Yet._

"We don't have to talk about anything now. Not another word. Let's just get you some blood, have a drink and be happy your alive. The rest will come later."

"Okay." Is all he says and we walk out of his room together. Something I wasn't sure we would do not even a hour ago.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**One week later...**

I wake up in Damon's bed to the sun shinning in his enormous windows. Sleeping here with him had been so peaceful. Nothing to worry about. Everyone was fine. I was alive and so was Damon. I rolled over to find him gone. Damon was still Damon. That werewolf bite did nothing for his fatalist attitude. We had barely spoken. He did his thing and I did mine, but everynight I would come over and cimb into bed with him and just hold him. He didn't push me away but he didn't incourage it either. Everything was on my own accord, which I liked because this was Damon after all. We didn't talk about anything. I wanted to let things mellow out and for him to fully be back to normal. But I had enough. I throw on my robe and head downstairs to find him, but instead I find Stefan sitting writing in his journal.

"Goodmorning."

"Morning. Have you seen Damon?"

"Him and Kaherine went to the blood bank. We were pretty close to being out."

"He went with Katherine?" I couldn't believe it. He had been spending mostly all of his time with Stefan and Katherine. So much for hating and wanting to kill her, but she did help save him. I couldn't completely hate her anymore.

"Yep. Don't ask, I was just as suprised when she offered to go with him instead."

"Don't be. Katherine is caculated. She wanted you to be here alone when I got up."

"I guess it's past time we talk huh?"

"I think."

"Elena..."

"No. Let me say this. I heard everything while I was out of it. You could have told me Stefan. I would have been hurt but I would have understood. Things happen the way they are suppose to. I know you never meant to hurt me and I never meant to hurt you. I love you, Stefan, I always will. But when I realized Damon was dying I couldn't breathe, I needed to be with him. I knew he loved me and I needed him to know that I felt the same. It's why you went to Katherine that night. You couldn't let her die. I'm not mad anymore because Damon couldn't let me die. He never could and he knew what took me too long to see. I was saving him from the start, I couldn't let him die. Katherine hurt you, Damon hurt me, but Stefan we awlays forgive the people we love. It's who we are. We see the good in them when no one else does, maybe it's stupid but it's us. As Damon says I'm all heart, you are too. There's nothing wrong with it. We just don't fit. You and I are water Katherine and Damon are oil. You shouldn't mix them but when it comes to us it turns out to be something great. They bring out the best in us because they push us when we need it. And are there for us, always."

"I'm not sorry I saved Katherine, but if you would have died I never would have forgiven myself. I will always love you just the same, but your right we don't belong together. Not anymore. Damon loves you, he always has. He will never hurt you and you never have to wonder where his loyalties lye." Stefan finishes as he pulls me into a hug. I let a few tears fall, because we were good together, there's no denying it but we weren't great.

"I see the lovers quarell is over." Damon says as he saunters over to make a drink. Stefan wraps his arm around me should and my one arm rests on his back as we look over to Damon who looks like he's been expecting this.

"Actually brother, we just broke up." Stefan tells him matter of factly and Damon looks up like a deer caught in the headlights. "Where is Katherine?"

"She said she would be waiting for you outside."

"I told you she was calculated." I laugh at Stefan as I hug him one more time before he leaves.

"You can be so oblivious sometimes to what is right in front of you, Damon."

"What I saw didn't look like a break up to me."

"I'm going to say this. One time. Only. I. Love. You. Damon. Salvatore. You listen to me and really listen, stop the wheels from spinning this in any way other than what it is. I love you, Elena, and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you, I'm telling you to be selfish with me. I don't deserve you, but my brother does, I'm telling you that you do deserve me. Why you can't know this, I'm telling you I deserve to know it. You need to tell it to me and not make me forget and not as a dying confession._ You_ deserve it. Stop thinking that I'm going to change my mind, because it's been made up for a long time. I was just afraid to acknowledge it, I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I almost lost you, so I'm done ignoring it. No going back. I don't want to. I'm going to get dressed and then go have lunch with Jenna. I'll see you tonight. Oh, I like the right side, if you don't mind." I walk away leaving Damon utterly speachless. I couldn't be more proud. Using his own words against him was genius.

**Damon's p.o.v**

This wasn't happening. My life had been in a downward tailspin since I found out Elena would be used in the sacrifice. It only got worse from there. I thought I had lost every ounce of what she had for me when I fed her my blood. Then I try to fix it all and I get bit by wolf boy. We finally figure something out and then Elena has to go and be all hero by not letting me die. Enter her in a coma. The worst two weeks of my life. Not only was I worried she wouldn't wake up, I was dealing with the damn wolf bite, and the fact that the only person in the world that saw something in me, my friend, the girl I was in love with, I'd never get to tell her how sorry I was, how much I loved her. Then the crazy girl that always suprises me, _did_. I needed her to, I asked her to, all because Barbie told me to ask her to wake up. Since when did I take orders? Had to be the damn bite that made me want to try, again. Suprised the hell out of me when it actually worked. Seeing her beautiful smile and those deep down eyes again, I knew I could die happy. Then she pulls me into her arms and starts to cry, hell I used every ounce of strenght I had in me not to follow in suit, but _this_ was Elena. Needless to say I did. I was going soft. I hated it. She made me feel every damn emotion I had. She starts barking orders after not even being awake for five minutes. Telling me she's going to fight for me, that she needs me, and the best part was when she beats around the bush about loving me, at least I was sure that's what she was talking about, then I got the clarification I needed. _I choose Damon, I always have_. Her exact words. _Damon was enough, he always has been._ If I didn't have quick reflexes my glass would have hit the floor. Never in my life did I hear anyone talk about me the way she did. So sure of me, even after everything I did to her and everyone she loved. She was still fighting for me. I tried to ignore it because lets face it, Damon Salvatore doesn't deserve a happy ever after. I figured it was something she said trying to get me to fight. I rememeber her saying to me while she was taking care of me that she likes me now, just the way I was. And then she kissed me. Elena, the most pure person, liked the monster, kissed the monster. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better she tells me that she forgives me. If she wasn't holding me so close and I didn't feel her I would have thought I was hullucinating again. Good thing for Jud- Bonnie, she worked her witchy juju on me and I asked Ric to kill me if it came down to it, Elena overheard, and said no at first, and just when I thought I couldn't love her more she offered to kill me so we could spend the end of my life together. It was a perfect way to die, except I didn't. Good old Stefan and Elijah, even Katherine, found out about the cure. I thought that everything would go back to normal with Elena and Stefan. That she would tell me she said it all to give me peace, that it was a pity kiss but this girl was something, instead she goes off on me, she's mad. I was confused, didn't she want a way out of what she said? I saw the hurt on her face as she tried to walk away so I told her the truth, that she saved me. She came in and we went to see everyone together. Hand in hand. It was true, maybe Stefan and everyone got the cure but Elena saved me in every way that some one needed and could be saved. She gave me a reason to care, to feel, to love, and I did, I loved her, and I cared, and I felt every thing I never wanted to. I knew it had to be too good to be true. There was no way she would let Stefan go...for me. Any other girl would kill to be with me, not that I wanted any other girl anymore, but not Elena. I didn't think that untill today. Till I heard her tell me she loved me. It hit me after too long. She was going to use the dagger, she had a plan that no one knew but it got skrewed up when he tried to kill me. I remembered that night. I saw her face all over again. The fear was written all over. Everything got skrewed up because she was trying to save me again, even after I had almost been the reason for turning into a vampire. It seemed impossible...Elena loved me? She had spent every night here with me, sleeping with me, and I wasted it all waiting for her to go back to Stefan. What the hell was I doing? I was even more skrewed up than I originally thought.

**Elena's house**

"Eliijah."

"Hello, Elena." He says as he pats the other side of the porch swing for me to sit with him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Jenna was showing me homes around Mystic Falls."

"Oh. I see. So your staying?"

"Yes. For now at least. I like it here."

"It's more peaceful now that eveything is done and over with."

"How is Damon doing?"

"Better. Thank you for helping with it. You didn't have to."

"But I did. I gave you my word that I would protect those you loved."

"I killed you."

"Lucky for me you chose to un-kill me. Which brings me to my next question."

"And that is?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"I wasn't sure which why he was asking about, although I had an idea, but the possibilities were endless.

"You forgave him. I don't understand. After what he did to you I was sure you would never, ever forgive him. And from what I heard he's done much more than that to hurt you. I can see plain as day that he loves you, you are his humanity Elena, I know you know it too. I can see that you love him too, but why, how?" I knew there was something behind what Elijah was asking me about Damon but I wasn't sure yet. He sounded as if he was looking for something.

"Because I hate him. I hate what he's done, how he's hurt me, how he acts sometimes, how he treats people, his stupid quips and pretty much everything else."

"I'm even more at a loss." He says and looks at me quizically and I can't help but laugh.

"Because everything I hate about him I love that much more. He infuriates the hell out of me, he pushes me to my limit, but everything he has done has been for love. Love brought him here, it kept him here. I love everything bad about him and I love the good even more. I forgave him and I needed to find a cure because I can't imagine him not being in my life. When things are tough I can count on Damon to be the first one to crack a joke and make me smile and the first one to try to fix whatever is wrong."

"You compliment him well, Elena. I believe he thinks the sun rises and sets on you."

"Oh, no. There are no illusions with us. He knows it doesn't."

"For him it does. No matter what you may say. He clings to you like his life depends on it. It's almost a humbling thing to see the two of you."

"Why?"

"Because it gives me hope that there are people that can love monsters."

"The only monster I knew was Klaus. You aren't a monster, you are my friend." I tell him as I hug him. I'd been doing alot of that lately. It was one of those hugs Damon was on the other side of, onsided. I pull away and he smiles at me.

"Thank you, Elena." He says as he takes my hand and places a light kiss on it before disappearing and I turn around and head inside to get Jenna. Elijah thought he was a monster, he wanted to know how someone could love a monster. I felt sad for him. I hoped what I had said helped him. It was all true. And if he thought him and Damon were monsters that was fine because I didn't care. I loved Damon anyway and Elijah was my friend. Sometimes letting go and forgiving is the best way to move forward and that's what I was going to do.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Hello Damon. Ric."

"Can I help you?" I ask.

"Elijah." Is all Ric says.

"I left the lovely Elena awhile ago."

"Why were you with her?" I ask as I pour Ric and I another drink.

"I wanted to talk to her so I waited for her after Jenna and I finished our business. Don't worry Ric, I see your getting all antsy, it was only real estate. Nothing more."

"Right." Ric says and downs his drink and pours another one. He could sure as hell hold his liquor better now. Too much time around me I guess.

"She's pretty irresistible huh, even to a thousand year old? What do you think Ric?"

"She's my student and I'm dating her aunt, Damon."

"Indeed I do think she is, but not the way you think." Elijah replies and makes himself at home as he gets a drink and takes a seat making it a triangle of chairs between me, him and Ric. "She is astonishing." He continues and I try my hardest to not let his comments about her bother me.

"That she is." Is all I say.

"I had to know something. I got my answer. You are very lucky Mr. Salvatore."

"Wait...what answer and why am I lucky?"

"She'll never forgive you and never for a vampire is a long time, is what I said. I was wrong. My apologies. And you are lucky because that girl has no doubts about you. Everything you are she loves."

"I don't get it either. But apparently it's true. She told me so today."

"Where is she?" Elijah asks and I shrug my shoulders as Ric pipes up with an answer.

"Still with Jenna, I called Jenna before I got here to tell her I'd be with you till Elena got back. Elena told Jenna to make sure you were okay and to tell you that she would be here soon."

"She needs to stop worrying. I'm fine."

"You don't sound thrilled." Was Elijah trying to test my patients? Because if he was it was working.

"I hit the jackpot with her. I never thought she would ever love me back and now that she does, I don't want her to."

"Why?" Ric and Elijah both ask at the same time.

"Because I'll break her. I'll hurt her, I'm screwed up and I will screw her up. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves so much more."

"Damon, you have got to move the hell out of your own way."

"I agree with the teacher that killed me." Eljiah raises his glass and downs it after that elephant in the room is addressed.

"Sorry about that." Ric tells him and shrugs his shoulders.

"Past is the past. Just don't do it again."

"Agreed." Ric nods his head in agreement.

"Anyway, I'm here because she loves you." Elijah continues. "My deal with Elena was to protect the people she loves, but I came to like her, to trust her, and she almost died. I want to make sure that she stays safe now. She gave me my revenge. I'm moving on. You should too. She loves you and if you hurt her I will finish you myself, and we both know I can."

"When did you become Daddy dearest?"

"Since she gave me hope." He says honestly.

"She's good at that." I tell him.

"She is. Now, I should go before I'm late. I'm having dinner with the wonderful Sheriff Forbes tonight." And he's gone. _Finally._

"That was weird." Ric says.

"Agreed." I mock him from just before.

"But I'm right. You are going to screw it up by being afraid that you are going to screw it up."

"_This is Elena." _He already knows how important she is to me but I decide to emphasize it even more because even I'm torn. I want to take what I want but I _can't _ruin her.

"I know. That's why you need to let it happen. I'm your friend, but in all seriousness, you will never find anyone better than her who doesn't care that your sort of a half redeemed vampire, without compulsion. Your different because of her."

"The better man?"

"The better man, she didn't force you to become one, she helped you, and you did it willingly, for Elena."

"When did you get smart?"

"I always have been, you just never listen."

"I still think you should marry Jenna."

"So do I."

"You do?"

"Yep. It was the best advice you ever gave me Damon. I'm going to propose."

"See I'm smart too."

"Sometimes."

"I wanted to um...ya know...thank you for...everything...trying to help me."

"Your welcome. Your getting pretty good at thanking."

"I know. I hate it, I've had to do it a lot lately. Why don't you hate me Ric?"

"Your getting deep Damon."

"Indulge me. I almost died."

"Sooner or later your going to have to stop pulling that 'I almost died' card. But honestly I have no damn idea. You killed my wife and then because she was turned, not dead, she actually died for good. I'm sure though that if it wasn't you it would have been someone else, maybe that's why. Isobel was obsessed with vampires. But it being you led me to Jenna and I love her. But even before that, I knew you weren't a bad guy, took me sometime but I figured it out, just like Elena,"

"Ew. I hope not. Because I more than like him. I love him, and your my aunt's boyfriend. She'd never forgive Damon for that." Elena says walking into the room laughing.

"You." Ric says pointing at her. "Are hanging around Damon too much." I can't help but laugh at it because it was true. And Elena looked brilliant. Relaxed with her overnight bag in one hand and her handbag in the other. Smiling that smile that could light up a room. Hair in a pony tail, in her sweats, no make-up. That was how I loved her, all natural, and god did I love her.

"I could say the same about you, Ric."

"It's scary how he rubs off on us, huh?"

"I kinda like it." Elena says handing me her bags and flops down on the couch to get comfortable. Her eyes lock with mine and we just stare. Waiting for something, anything at this point.

"I'll leave you two alone. Jenna's waiting for me. See you at the grill tomorrow Damon. Night Elena."

"Night, Ric." We both say our eyes still not leaving the others.

"Will you pour me a drink?" She asks innocently.

"Sure." I turn to pour her some of my brandy and fill mine and hand it to her. I sit on the couch across from her. We continue this stupid staring game until she finally speaks up.

"Damon, do you love me?"

"What kind of dumb question is that?"

"Answer me."

"Yes."

"Say it."

"Why?"

"Do I have to drag it out of you? You won't say it will you?"

"I already have. You heard it before."

"While I was in a coma and while you thought you were dying. That's the way every girl dreams of it, Damon. Not."

"Fine, I love..."

"Stop."

"What now?"

"Forget it."

"You are giving me serious whiplash. Do you want me to say it, or not?"

"I thought if I asked you to say it, you would. You would take my hand like you have done so many times this past month and be serious. I'd look in your eyes and I'd see it there. I see everything in your eyes, Damon. I don't want to force it out of you, I'm not pathetic. I just wanted to give you a push because sometimes you need it, you aren't always open with your feelings. But, just forget it. I want to know one thing. Can you answer me one question, honestly?"

"Yes."

"What do you want from me?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I want nothing because you can't give me everything. Ric pointed something out to me earlier. That you wanted me to be the better man, and I tried, you didn't force me to do it, I did it on my own for you. I can give you everything I am, which isn't much. But you, you will leave me one day. I'm going to screw up and hurt you. One day you aren't going to forgive me and by that time I'll have worn you down and I won't be able to live without you that I'll do something drastic. So why don't we just stop now? While it's still good."

"You are a classic martyr, your abrasive and apathetic sometimes. I make you less of the latter two. The martyr part has to go. Your scared? Well so am I. I have no idea if we can even last a day, and that's on a good day. We fight like cats and dogs. We both have totally different views on things and we barely ever agree, but it doesn't matter, because we make it work. We always have. I know you love me, if it's not enough fine, but don't let me sit here and think that it is. I know you think more of me than that. Your right about the better man, I never wanted you to be something you weren't. I just always knew it was there. I'll never give up on you Damon, don't ask me to and don't try and make me. You know how stubborn I can be, that's why we are a force to be reckoned with. You just need to stop pushing me away. Love me or let me go. You can't have it both ways. I made a choice and now you have to make one too. I'm going to bed. I'm done with this conversation. We can talk tomorrow night. Hopefully you will be doing most of the talking."

She walks out of the room and heads upstairs. I notice her bags are still on the floor next to me. Damn, she was good. This girl never let me get comfortable. She was always throwing something at me, keeping me on my toes. I hated it, but I loved it too. I finish my drink, set my glass down, grab the bags and follow her up. She's sitting on my bed when I walk in and she's got my t-shirt on, and did it look good on her, pulling her hair out of her pony tail. She looks up and me and looks away immediately, but not quick enough to see that her eyes had tears in them and she was trying her best to hold them back. I hated being the reason for her tears. I got changed and joined her in bed. Elena, on the right and me all the way on the left. I turn the light off and I listen to her breathing as it evens out. She normally would curl up into my side or hold my hand or rest her head on my shoulder, but not tonight. I never wanted to push her away, I always wanted her close, and after everything she had been through I was making what should be happy time for her hell. I had to make up my mind. I never wanted to hurt her and I was. _I will. Always. Choose. You. _I already knew my answer. I told her the words not too long ago. I moved over to the center of the bed and reach over to pull her over and she turns willingly, luck was really on my side lately. I was a class-a jackass but I still had her. Her body presses against mine. My arm is around her and her head rests on my chest. Our hands are entwined with one another. I place a kiss on her forehead. There really was never any other choice for me. It was always her. Elena.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow...this chapter has been a looong time comming. I was down south visitng my parents all summer. I literally re-read all the chapters and wrote this all in a few hours. Yes, this is my friday night. Haha. But Damon and Elena needed thier happy ending. Again, thanks for all the reviews. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9**

"Can we talk?"

"That depends." I tell him setting down my book on the table and looking up to him.

"On?"

"I'm tired of arguing, Klaus is dead, you are alive, I am alive, and everyone else is happy. Even Katherine and Stefan. I want to be happy too, so if you don't have an answer I don't want to talk. And just so you know, I won't keep waiting around for an answer."

"I don't expect you to."

"Good, so will we be talking or can I continue reading?"

"When did you get so apathetic?"

"I took a lesson from the master." It was the truth, this situation was emotionally draining.

"Touche."

"Well?" I give him an exasperated sigh.

"We talk."

"Okay, so for it."

"You are not going to make this easy on me are you?" He says, sitting down on the couch across from me. I was sitting in his favorite leather chair.

"No way." I say holding my ground. I had always cut Damon slack, but not this time.

"I'm sorry, Elena. For everything."

"Is that it?"

"No."

"Just say it Damon, whatever it is you need to."

"You want me to tell you everything?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." I sit up facing him, waiting for something, anything.

"Fine...I thought the worst night of my life was when I died and woke up in trasition, and the worst day when Stefan forced me to feed on some girl. I was wrong. The worst night of my life was when I saw you going over that cliff. The worst day of my life was when they told me you might never wake up from your coma. I blamed Stefan because he saved Katherine. I blamed Klaus. I blamed Katherine because she could have warned us along time ago, we could have had a plan for when he got here instead of winging it."

He pauses and downs his drink. He was giving me more than I ever expected. I stay silent knowing he has more to say.

"It was no ones fault, but Klaus'. No one knew what would happen. Not even Bonnie can see the future. Most importantly none of this was your fault. I wanted you to know that. I was planning on telling you about how Saint Stefan saved Katherine, how I was the one that saved you, I helped Jeremy kill Klaus. I was the one that kept my word. I wanted you to see what real loyalty was. When the adrenaline wore off of what happened that's when I realized Lockwood bit me. Suddenly me being your hero didn't matter, all that mattered was that you would wake up, and if you could possibly forgive me. I knew it was a long shot, but I _had_ to hope. Funny thing- I never thought I knew what real hope was untill you. You gave me so much, Elena, even a somewhat relationship with my brother. I owe you everything. All I knew was I couldn't die without you knowing that I loved you, I wanted to thank you. So Blondie convinces me to tell you, I said things I never thought I would, and to my suprise you wake up. You call out _my_ name and fly into my arms, then you start saying all these things. To me, to Jenna, whoever else. I gave you up. I was willing to let it always be Stefan just to know that you were happy. He was the good brother, and I was the bad one. I was okay with that. I loved being the killer, at least I thought I did."

"Damon-"

"I'm not finished. You have to understand. I'm use to not being anyones choice, and the bad guy. Then you put me on this weird pedestal, telling me you like me just the way I am. I've always thought of myself as a monster, but you look past that. You save my life, yet you hate me, then you_ forgive_ me, and we fight, and then your telling me you_ love_ me. The truth was, I never expected you to love me, I may have wanted it, but I didn't think it would ever happen. You are suppose to hate me, I snapped Jeremy's neck. Elijah said that you would never forgive me after I fed you my blood. His exact words were _'never for a vampire is a long time.'_ The worst part was that I was okay with it, because I knew you would live. I will always skrew up Elena. I'm impulsive, and sometimes I just don't care about the sonsequences. I never expected you to forgive me, yet you have. You have the biggest heart I've ever seen, this unfathomable capacity to forgive, and I'm afraid that you being with me will destroy who you are. I never want that to happen. I want to be better, for you. The guy everyone has seen, the one that tries his hardest to be better is because of you. I'm selfish, and I want you. I am in love with you Elena."

He stands facing away from me, looking out the doors that lead to the patio. I wipe the tears away, and make my way over to him. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his back. He rests his hand over where mine clasp on his chest.

"That was the most perfect thing anyone has ever said to me Damon."

"You amaze me. Half of what I said was about how I'm the wrong choice." He turns around and tucks my hair behind my ears. He cups my face, and rests his forehead against mine.

"I don't care. Don't you get that? As far as I'm concerned you are it for me. No matter what. You and I are never going to be easy, but I still want you. _You_ are my choice, you always will be."

"I am so sorry I skrewed up so much before, but I want you to know that I want this more than I have ever wanted anything." Pulling back he still keeps his hold on my face, but this time his isn't torchered, it's relaxed.

"I love you Damon. Always."

"I love you. Always. Only. You." I smile at him and pull him to me. His lips are finally on mine. They are soft, and I feel everything in his kiss. Before I know it he's lifting me into his arms and flashing us into his bedroom. I was thoroughly happy with the way things had turned out. It was Damon that I was suppose to be with all along.

Sometimes you can't fight fate...


End file.
